What’s sad is it took three people to write this piece of shit, and those are the three people who wanted their name publicly associated with this film. With the camera panning in on Michael Rapaport as he says “did someone order the fish” or someone saying “bring me the sushi” when shark guts are raining down, Deep Blue Sea‘s script sounds like something scribbled on a preacher curl bench. Given how bad Deep Blue Sea is you pray for an entertaining campy vibe but this terrible movie isn’t even compassionate enough to give you that. Similar to something like Showgirls, nobody sounds like an actual human being and unfortunately the dialogue is far from being as entertaining as what’s heard in Showgirls. If you think the same meaningless science dialogue we’ve heard since 1950s invasion movies is bad, the casual dialogue written for characters is more of a nightmare. This won’t be the first time your eyes glaze over as you hear a character go on like a Peanuts adult about a synthetic biodegradable formula injected into a shark’s diangular cortex. This is the film’s introduction to being partly dominated by meaningless science jargon. After that cockblock from mayhem, we’re taken to a corporate meeting between three characters about Alzheimer’s research IN A FUCKING SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER. Before we get carnage, Thomas Jane hits it with two harpoons and the opening scene concludes on a very quiet and anticlimactic moment. It starts off perfectly with a shark tearing its way through a boat. In the first scene Deep Blue Sea instantly deflates the fun popcorn blockbuster vibe you expect. From shark movies to summer blockbusters, this film really details what you shouldn’t do. Instead Deep Blue Sea is a film that makes every bad decision a movie can make. I’ve never seen it until this year and naturally I assumed this was going to be as over the top as possible to offer a ridiculous thrill you weren’t getting with the more prim and polished Jaws. While looking at the tradition of awful shark movies, Deep Blue Sea is a great one to point to. The most entertaining a shark film has been post- Jaws is possibly the Sharknado franchise and when someone like Ian Ziering or Tara Reid is in on the joke, is it even that fun? Naturally you’d assume so many of these movies would be a lot of fun and filled with creative gory kills. From the music of John Williams to having actors like Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfuss acting together, it’s safe to say nobody will ever make a shark film that compares to J aws when it comes to quality.īut even while Jaws will never be dethroned, why are all these movies so horrible? The great white shark is essentially a creature hellbent on murder like Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers. Since Jaws, nobody has really made a watchful contribution. Steven Spielberg seems to be the first filmmaker who commented on how frightening sharks are. The shark sub-genre is fascinating to look through.
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